Thursday, September 30, 2010

Warmth of the sun is in your smile

I miss 弟子规. It's been years since I touched the book. And it sounds so nice when you recite it!

弟子规

总叙
弟子规　圣人训　首孝弟　次谨信
泛爱众　而亲仁　有余力　则学文

入则孝
父母呼　应勿缓　父母命　行勿懒
父母教　须敬听　父母责　须顺承
冬则温　夏则凊　晨则省　昏则定
出必告　反必面　居有常　业无变
事虽小　勿擅为　苟擅为　子道亏
物虽小　勿私藏　苟私藏　亲心伤
亲所好　力为具　亲所恶　谨为去
身有伤　贻亲忧　德有伤　贻亲羞
亲爱我　孝何难　亲憎我　孝方贤
亲有过　谏使更　怡吾色　柔吾声
谏不入　悦复谏　号泣随　挞无怨
亲有疾　药先尝　昼夜侍　不离床
丧三年　常悲咽　居处变　酒肉绝
丧尽礼　祭尽诚　事死者　如事生

出则弟
兄道友　弟道恭　兄弟睦　孝在中
财物轻　怨何生　言语忍　忿自泯
或饮食　或坐走　长者先　幼者后
长呼人　即代叫　人不在　己即到
称尊长　勿呼名　对尊长　勿见能
路遇长　疾趋揖　长无言　退恭立
骑下马　乘下车　过犹待　百步余
长者立　幼勿坐　长者坐　命乃坐
尊长前　声要低　低不闻　却非宜
进必趋　退必迟　问起对　视勿移
事诸父　如事父　事诸兄　如事兄

谨
朝起早　夜眠迟　老易至　惜此时
晨必盥　兼漱口　便溺回　辄净手
冠必正　纽必结　袜与履　俱紧切
置冠服　有定位　勿乱顿　致污秽
衣贵洁　不贵华　上循分　下称家
对饮食　勿拣择　食适可　勿过则
年方少　勿饮酒　饮酒醉　最为丑
步从容　立端正　揖深圆　拜恭敬
勿践阈　勿跛倚　勿箕踞　勿摇髀
缓揭帘　勿有声　宽转弯　勿触棱
执虚器　如执盈　入虚室　如有人
事勿忙　忙多错　勿畏难　勿轻略
斗闹场　绝勿近　邪僻事　绝勿问
将入门　问孰存　将上堂　声必扬
人问谁　对以名　吾与我　不分明
用人物　须明求　倘不问　即为偷
借人物　及时还　后有急　借不难

信
凡出言　信为先　诈与妄　奚可焉
话说多　不如少　惟其是　勿佞巧
奸巧语　秽污词　市井气　切戒之
见未真　勿轻言　知未的　勿轻传
事非宜　勿轻诺　苟轻诺　进退错
凡道字　重且舒　勿急疾　勿模糊
彼说长　此说短　不关己　莫闲管
见人善　即思齐　纵去远　以渐跻
见人恶　即内省　有则改　无加警
唯德学　唯才艺　不如人　当自砺
若衣服　若饮食　不如人　勿生戚
闻过怒　闻誉乐　损友来　益友却
闻誉恐　闻过欣　直谅士　渐相亲
无心非　名为错　有心非　名为恶
过能改　归于无　倘掩饰　增一辜

泛爱众
凡是人　皆须爱　天同覆　地同载
行高者　名自高　人所重　非貌高
才大者　望自大　人所服　非言大
己有能　勿自私　人所能　勿轻訾
勿谄富　勿骄贫　勿厌故　勿喜新
人不闲　勿事搅　人不安　勿话扰
人有短　切莫揭　人有私　切莫说
道人善　即是善　人知之　愈思勉
扬人恶　即是恶　疾之甚　祸且作
善相劝　德皆建　过不规　道两亏
凡取与　贵分晓　与宜多　取宜少
将加人　先问己　己不欲　即速已
恩欲报　怨欲忘　报怨短　报恩长
待婢仆　身贵端　虽贵端　慈而宽
势服人　心不然　理服人　方无言

亲仁
同是人　类不齐　流俗众　仁者希
果仁者　人多畏　言不讳　色不媚
能亲仁　无限好　德日进　过日少
不亲仁　无限害　小人进　百事坏

余力学文
不力行　但学文　长浮华　成何人
但力行　不学文　任己见　昧理真
读书法　有三到　心眼口　信皆要
方读此　勿慕彼　此未终　彼勿起
宽为限　紧用功　工夫到　滞塞通
心有疑　随札记　就人问　求确义
房室清　墙壁净　几案洁　笔砚正
墨磨偏　心不端　字不敬　心先病
列典籍　有定处　读看毕　还原处
虽有急　卷束齐　有缺坏　就补之
非圣书　屏勿视　蔽聪明　坏心志
勿自暴　勿自弃　圣与贤　可驯致

YES I FOUND THE BOOK! YES YES YES YES.
I am happy. Happy. Happy. :D

Posted at 9:05 PM

Monday, September 27, 2010

What good is being strong, When all I ever really want is you?

You know, I'm just going to say this.

Sorry just doesn't cut it.

Neither do excuses like "I thought you were _____", or "It was for your own good". Because the only person who can determine if something is good for you or not is yourself. Which essentially proves my point that only you can, and should make decisions for only yourself, because only you will know what's good for yourself. And you shouldn't make decisions for others too because it may not be what they want, or is good for them. Also, it means that you can't trust anyone but yourself. Trusting anyone, yes, even your closest friends or family, isn't the best thing ever. People are... subject to change. Nothing's going to stay a particular way forever. Trust is a 'make-you-or-break-you' factor. You place trust in someone. You know what they say, the higher the risk, the higher the return. And then when you fall you fall hard.

I think only people who are strong have the authority to do what they want. If you're strong, no one will oppose you. If you're strong, everyone will submit, because if they don't, they're as good as dead. And it does no good if you're strong but don't have any beliefs to back up that strength. It's like, having a fishing rod and knowing how to fish but having no bait. Also, having beliefs make use of that strength for purposes that you, and only you, want. Then you won't be made use of because you're strong and it's so easy to be swayed!

Why am I so idealistic.

Oh yes, Michelle! You asked for an excerpt.

She folds her arms, shivering for once in the cold. Looks at the couple walking away, the picture of perfect contentment. He turns back to give her barely a glance, and their eyes meet. She shakes her head, a small smile playing across her face.

That's the first paragraph. I don't even know where the idea came from. I just wrote, and wrote, and wrote. And yes, you're probably going to critique it. I don't even know where the drabble is going to head, I mean like seriously! As in, one thing just leads to another, does it not? In the end I'll find a way to wrap it all up together and tie all the loose ends. Or loosen all the tied ends, depending on what's required.

A human being is only interesting if he's in contact with himself. I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it. You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it.
Barbara Streisand
Barbara Streisand! One of the awesomest singers, ever! I mean it. You trust yourself, not others.

Mistrust the man who finds everything good, the man who finds everything evil and still more the man who is indifferent to everything.
Johann K. Lavater
Point proven, don't ever trust me. I'm so apathetic sometimes it scares me.

Trust thyself only, and another shall not betray thee.
Thomas Fuller
On an ending note that perfectly matches my post!

Posted at 10:04 PM

Friday, September 24, 2010

Sometimes I want to get off this train

OMG LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
THIS and THIS and THIS.

[BUT WHY ISN'T THE FULL CUT OF THE SONGS FROM WEATHER CHANGER GIRL OR LOLA CUKI GIVEN TO US HUH. :/ And yet compare it to Busk's. Lisa Dewey is too awesome. I know that doesn't make sense.]

Sometimes I feel that I'm wayyyy too passive-aggressive-ish for my own good. Like anything that doesn't concern me is like, "I'm not gonna complain until it really affects me." or "Why should I tell you?" or something to that effect. Makes me wonder if I actually have passive-aggressive personality disorder. Actually, I think everyone has it to a certain extent. Just that mine seems to be more... obvious? I don't know. Refer to Wikipedia sigh. Or maybe I just might have thyroid. Why am I so mood-swing-y. ):

I LINKED SO MUCH IN THIS POST. It's scary.

Oh, assembly! During Mrs Hoo's speech. She was talking about the UG awards for Best Cadets I think and then kaiyan and I were like *stare at screen*, then *look at each other, then "____ ___ ____?!" HAHAHH OMG but we're so mean! But it was seriously quite epic. We're like, telepathic.

NEGC! We failed miserably this time. Like, seriously. All of the rounds S1 was totally wiped out. And my teammates were all over the place. Sigh. On an almost relatively unrelated note, to you, but not particularly to me, I hate taking bus home from Clementi. Don't have much of a choice though, do I?

[OMG THEY SPELT JIA YAO'S NAME AS 'KWEK' JIA YAO (and he and Jian Hui are both in NEGC) HAHAHAHHAHA.) Quote JY: "Of course, it is quite a fun game actually." That's like, redundant. Why do you need of course and actually in the same sentence, in reference to the same thing? JIA YAO BUCK UP ON YOUR ENGLISH MAN.]

Posted at 10:08 PM

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Only you can know the torment

Made you hungry for release
And I can't find an answer
That'll bring you peace
The sun will rise
Twisted trees
Morning sky
And the world you leave behind

To protect the content of what I read, I removed the text. I think this is one of the best pages! Chapter 70 of course. :D For some reason, the title song bit seems to fit the comic very well because if you actually know the series you'll know why __ does that for __, because there is nothing to live for anyway, due to that underhanded, 'You didn't ask' trick. And "The World You Leave Behind" is about suicide.

If you don't question something, it becomes an almost definite factor.
If you question something and find no answer, then it's definite.

[This section is about some random stuff which is quite unrelated.]

Also, it is so hard to believe that people want the life of a fairy-tale? Of a perfect story? Of being loved? For someone who grew up without friends, is it very difficult to think that they'll be amazed that they have one? It's not fair to judge people based on what they might do.

The largest obstacle is actually yourself.

I should do more of that contemplate-the-meaning-of-life thing because I realize how much it actually applies. And it stops me from being extremely pissed. And I am extremely pissed.

Posted at 10:12 PM

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Nobody ever made me crazy like this

For those from Xuan Hua Sect: (quickly) Leftrightleftrightleftrightleftright.
Blazing Sun Sect: In, out, in, out, in, out.
For those from Moon Sect: You go right, left, right, left while I sit on my ass and wait to stab you in the back.
For those Divine Pine Cliff: Black, White, Black, White, Black, White.
If you’re a Celestial Creature: East, West, North, South, East, West, North, South.
For those from Qiong Qi Peak: Right brow, left brow, right brow, left brow.
For those from Mt. Dream Cloud: Ask Wang Chan what to do .
Anybody who lives in Bamboo Grove: Left, right, second right, third left, ninth left and second right.

LOL. I have some others too!
If you're Chi Xue: Attempt to follow Xuan Hua, Blazing Sun, and Moon Sects all at the same time. Or go blood, sword, blood, sword, blood, sword, blood, sword, blood, sword.
Don't ask about the rest, they're way too hilarious.

And Chapter 68 is just way too harsh. But amusing, in a way. Or maybe my thinking of 'amusing' is just warped. And the scene of Xue Wu randomly hacking around the Moonlight Lotus Gateway is so amusing! Well, yeah, to me that is. OKAY CUT RANDOM CRAP.

"And I'm sick of the debate about CX-WC-ZY when it escalates into sticking pins into voodoo dolls of CX/ZY." OMG LOL YES I TOTALLY AGREE. It's retarded, and when you see people arguing over laugh like that I just end up going into hysterics. And THANK YOU those people who had the common sense to see that XL-WC is JUST NOT POSSIBLE LOL BECAUSE XL IS ALREADY TAKEN HAHAHHA OMG WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD.

"Why should we be spoonfed a definite ending just to be satisfied? There were enough subtle hints to indicate that WC accepted ZY, just as LT accepted Avian and vice versa. I find it better this way... there's indications, but nothing concrete, so we fans are allowed to speculate and decide for ourselves what we would like it to be." YES. Whoever this person is I love you. Please, it's only the diehard XL-WC and CX-WC fans who can't accept it, or the results of the match.

"it's a pretty nice sort of open ending where everything isn't too straightforward." FINALLY, someone who has common sense! I mean, seriously, does it actually matter? I'd much rather vote on the outcome of the match, only that I'd get mobbed by the CX/XL fans. Ouch. And you also don't know how many hundreds of threads there are about WC-CX-XL-ZY like SERIOUSLY. It's just a side-story, fine, a side-story that is relatively important because it adds to the characters doing what they did. But beyond that, since it has ALREADY ENDED, what value does it have? None!

One thing I dislike is how everyone is so 'flat'. Like CX and XL are do-no-evil-ers and MM and JR are irrevocably evil, etc. WHICH IS WHY MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ARE XW AND BS AND JA AND ZY! But through the entire series the only people who are actually very well characterised and are NOT FLAT are XW and ZY because they show that they have good/bad sides too! And BS and JA to a lesser extent because they died off in the first series? I guess that's just my take though, CX/XL fans will pummel me. (LOL for some reason I am starting to sound like a CX/XL hater, which is amusing because I never really hated them. It's just that I prefer other characters, you know?)

For those people who say the characters all look similar: hello, it's the same person drawing. Could YOU do any better? I bet not. At least I can still tell P and CX apart, and no, not just from the hair. And the same goes for WC and XW. No, it's not just the angling of the eyes, or anything, but the CHARACTERIZATION. Like how CX never smiles. And the more subtle hints of the drawing, like how CX's eyes are rounder than MM's. HOW CAN YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT I ASK HOW CAN YOUUUUU. D:

And I also absolutely love (read: dislike) how people on the forum can complain about the translation skills and bad grammar when HEY, LOOK. Theirs aren't much better either, I take about five minutes to read a 10 post thread. Like, what the hell.

Oh, it's also very interesting how 南方朱雀 got changed to, or is now made equivalent to, 凤凰, and 苍龙/青龙 is so easily mistranslated, because they are different. Like how 朱雀 and 凤凰 are mixed up BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT THE SAME. Sigh. People never seem to get that.

DO WORK. MUG. ARGH.

Posted at 4:53 PM

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fought each other to possess it, Often blind to the light of the day

I realized that there's so much more left before things will be/stay/at least have some semblance of being the same as before. And as of now, it's officially failing miserably. I don't know why everyone's pissed off at each other.

I don't understand how people can complain that we're not caring about their feelings. And when we try to help they say we're sticking onto them and they get annoyed anyway. Or maybe it's just my self-contradictory view of that 'I'm always right'. Also, I dislike how some things are just the same way and I feel like I'm trying too hard and everyone else is not trying hard enough. Or vice-versa.

It's retarded how when I read non-fiction. people stare at me and give me weird looks that include 'WTF' and 'ARE YOU CRAZY', while when I read comics -- MARVEL comics, if I may add, not even DC, even though I admittedly do -- they give me the exact same looks too. And even when I read Chinese books. I mean, hello, what's so weird and strange about my reading choices? It's not as if they're extremely strange, a lot of people read them too. Like I was reading X-men and Spiderwoman and Thor and Killraven, which are all very common books! And I didn't even bring Metamorpho or The Atom to school. Also something very weird/strange!

You know how in the X-men movies they always call each other like 'Nightcrawler' and 'Shadowcat' and 'Cyclops' and 'Wolverine' and 'Storm' and 'Professor X' and et cetera right? Well, in the comics, they always refer to each other (when they're not on a mission, that is) by their actual names. Except for Rogue, because she doesn't have one that I know of. So it's 'Kurt', 'Kitty', 'Scott', 'Logan', 'Ororo' and 'Professor'. Yes, they don't call him with an 'X'. Also, chances are that Cyclops will be shortened to Cyke, and Wolverine to Wolvie. And it's weird how you never see Illyana and Peter in the movies! Or Psylocke.

And then Mr Yeo (yes, our Geog teacher) caught Julia reading the Spiderwoman comic 'cos I loaned it to her and then he broke off into this... I don't know what to call it, about some 80's cartoons. Because Michelle Lim said that she hadn't heard of Spiderwoman before.

And also yesterday was NEGC! It was weird. Because, I am S1TL1. Although I haven't been there for the first training session. Also, being M203 really sucks. 1. Power is only average. 2. RELOADING IS ANNOYING. 3. A lot, a lot, a lot of recoil. So! When we were doing defense, Michelle and I were in the building, then I got killed. Then Michelle started freaking and she killed the six people in the building who happened to chance upon her. Which is very o_o because apparently Louise shouted at us to GET OUT OF THERE but we didn't hear her and so poor Michelle was like: WHAT YOU'RE DEAD?! Then: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Then: OHMYGOD YOU MEAN I'M THE ONLY ONE. Then: OMG OMG OMG THIS IS SO STRESSFUL. Which was pretty weird.

I love you Marvel! Although, I wish you would come up with more of the X-men series sooner. And I wish Spiderwoman was longer. And I wish Thor was more exciting, not that it isn't already, but some characters are really way too minor. THEY SHOULD ENGAGE MORE OF THE MINOR CHARACTERS. And I want to read MTU and SVTU!

Posted at 4:33 PM

Thursday, September 9, 2010

And I will always love you

I think that the word 'always' is the biggest lie. Things will cease to exist after a while, especially when it involves human. Who's to say that you can keep a promise forever? And who's to guarantee that you won't forget about it? Even if you kept it to the day you died, you'd still be breaking that promise because you wouldn't be able to fulfil it when you're dead. For example, if you promise to be 'always with so-and-so', then it won't be possible when you die. Even if you were to apply it to inanimate objects likethe universe or something, then how would you know that the universe will always be there? How do you know it's always changing? You can't ever guarantee that the 'always' factor will be there, because, chances are, it won't.

I shall blog in detail about the entire school holidays on Friday. Or Saturday. Or I'll just put it off indefinitely like my many other blog posts, e.g., Camp STEEL, ATC, NDP, Speech Day, and et cetera.

Posted at 9:18 AM

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I'm there at your side, I'm part of all the things you are

It's what you want. I will accept it. But what about what I want? Doesn't it count for something?

Our CSI Video! Don'tcha just love the names. I mean, they alliterate.

CAST:
Leonardo “Leo” Lawrence Levensohn: Aaheli Tarafdar
Melrose “Merly” Melanie Meekins: Eugenia Tang
Maximillion “Max” Maxwell Maximus: Ho Hui Min
Daniella “Dani” Dora Daniels: Louise Lee
Danny “Dan” Darell Daniels: Ho Hui Min
Deborah “Debbie” Donna Daniels: Tamisha Tan
Victoria “Vicki” Vivian Vieck: Ho Shermine
Gavin Gant Gardner: Goh Yan Tong
Joan Jannell Jocelyn: Louise Lee
Sketch Artist: Goh Yan Tong
Photographer: Tamisha Tan

Cameraperson: Scene 1 to 4: Ho Shermine
Scene 5 to 9: Tamisha Tan

Director: Tamisha Tan
Producers: Goh Yan Tong &
Eugenia Tang
Scriptwriters: Ho Hui Min &
Ho Shermine
Stage Manager: Aaheli Tarafdar
Set Manager: Louise Lee

I also find it creepy/amusing how the victim is a Deborah (Debbi[e]) and the murderer is her sister, a Victoria (Vicki) BECAUSE YOU KNOW DEBORAH (DEBBI) AND VICTORIA (VICKI) PETERSON ARE SISTERS AND BANGLES. Which is just downright creepy because I noticed that AFTER we came up with the names, and Maximillion "Max" Maxwell Maximus and Victoria "Vicki" Vivian Vieck are cool names. Vieck and Levensohn are extremely funky surnames, and actually Vieck could have been Ver Vais (adds to the alliteration) and Levensohn was supposed to be Levenson Bla but they thought the 'Bla' was too extra so no go! D: Ahwells.

Posted at 8:58 PM

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A thousand boats dancing on the bay

The clock is ticking.
Hearts will do what hearts should do. They go on thudding, thudding, painlessly and painfully at the same time, uncontrollably. It's a rock that's part of you and yet not a part of your being.
Grow up, and dust your clothes after you fall. Dry the tears and wipe the blood. Clean yourself up and brush your hair. It falls across your face like nothing else ever does. Meanwhile, the clock ticks slowly, minute by minute.

"All I wanted was for you to be happy" Well, look where it ended up. The end of the long journey has brought you here, to the ending.

Wow, the hardest and darkest thing I've read in a really long time.

Okay, yesterday! We went back to Henry Park and it was awesome. Like, really. I bought this notebook and pen from the bookshop which is now enormous (well, relatively) and it's a nice notebook! Okay yeah. Then after that we went to Jelita and ruitong and I bought pork ribs and started pigging out on them.

And then we went to Jenn's house and I DROPPED THE PIANO CHAIR ON MY FOOT. D: Now it's swollen and hurts like hell. And it left an enormous bruise too.

Am mugging orienteering like hell now. Now I just need to type it out.

Posted at 3:04 PM