Monday, January 14, 2013
My history
I love my history.
Call me a selfish person, but I do. I don't like plain history. Plain history is boring. I don't want or need to know about the history of the Americas, because I'm not from America, and I'm not interested in knowing about America.
But the one thing I'm interested in is my history. By "
my history" I refer to parts of the part that, although not necessarily directly related to me, are things I can relate to. Things I can connect to. Things I know. Things I want to know. Things that make me want to know more about them.
It's about knowing more about, well, what I know about. And in a way that makes me know more about myself. I like that. I like that feeling of knowledge, because knowledge is power, and knowing more about something makes me understand why I'm so attracted to it. And thus I am more in control.
I like knowledge and I like control. And I am attracted to people who possess, or want to possess both. By attract I don't mean in
that way, because, holy mother of chocolate, that is a truly horrifying thought. Attracted to simply means that I feel I can connect with them. It also means that I can share thoughts with them. This is possibly why I like talking to people who are, well, panicked wrecks. Who says a panicked wreck can't be a control freak? That's usually the reason why they're panicking, actually, because of the lack of control. It's like some downward spiral, and I totally understand the feeling.
Because when your hands start shaking and you can't seem to stop it, all you want is someone to join you in your misery, and because you
want to be miserable (and you
are miserable), you are in control.
N.B.: ...and no, I do
not base all the advice I give off those cheesy chinese romance stories I read.
Posted at 7:40 PM
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I will be waiting.
如果每一个飞到天上的天灯代表一个人，谁知我们会远于多少路程、岁月？
时空的距离，是我们不能控制的。
所以，希望能用我们现在拥有的时间，完成我们来到这世界的原因--
能用我们所可做的一切改变每一个遇到的人，不管这影响有多巨大，多细小。
People are really very interesting. Perhaps not to interact with, but at least to... intepret. To read. To find out about. Characters are interesting because they are people who you create. I think that in its own right is fascinating. You can fulfil any wish you cannot usually through a character. Perhaps that is one of the beauties of writing. And not just writing. Creation.
Creation is in its own way, sacred.
So many things I have to talk about.
Firstly, TMD! I still cannot get over how rude that abbreviation is, by the way.
I think TMD is interesting. As in, the basis for it is interesting.
Also another interesting thing is that the so-called doomsday fell between both our events. Which got me thinking. One thing I would have regretted, if it did actually occur, is if we didn't get the chance to fulfil our promise. If we didn't get the chance to "perform" at MINDS. If anything, I detest breaking promises. I don't care even if people wouldn't have known.
A promise made to others is as good as a promise made to yourself.
It was also a fantastic and I think once-in-a-lifetime experience. This is coming from someone who hates all sort of human contact, and the kids at MINDS, if anything, really really like human contact. But yes, I think I did learn quite a lot.
Secondly, Christmas, or Krimble.
Got chased around by ten bees, ate and drank free food - the only thing better than good food - and the like.
Christmas is kind of pathetic. It's like people hold their breaths and wait for something magical to happen, and it doesn't. Tragically romantic, I say. The world goes on, people live, people die.
New Year's.
I don't know. I just feel kind of tired, like, well, it's just another year.
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Who knows? I'm waiting.
Posted at 10:54 PM
