Tuesday, July 31, 2012
流水落花春去也，天上人间
I think I've made too many mistakes to count over the past few years.
The one that stands out the most to others is not fighting when I should have.
The one that stands out the most to
myself is beating myself up for that.
But it's okay. (Now I resist the urge to quote Mellow Day, "it's okay 'cause I'll find a way, I'll find a mellow day".) And I'd like to think that one day I will make that peace with myself, no matter how long it takes.
...even if a lifetime isn't enough.
欣賞我的人 讓我更有自信
批評我的人 讓我更有進步
傷害我的人 讓我更加堅強
疼惜我的人 讓我更懂感恩
依賴我的人 讓我更有力量
Some people just aren't worth it.
Watching the TV Funny version of 朱门新怨 is... painfully hilarious. It's like, the language switching. And I cannot help it (especially when it was 普通话 and Kate thought it was already 日语 and 麦长青 commented on how that was her 国语) every time I see it I have to laugh. Ouch.
既然你已經選擇左
希望你可以有個解脫
一路好走
Sometimes you hurt the people you don't want to, and I think that is what's most painful about life. And the worst part is if you can't apologise for it.
Posted at 8:12 PM
Sunday, July 29, 2012
木欣欣以向荣，泉涓涓而始流
《有所思》
有所思，乃在大海南。
何用問遺君？雙珠玳瑁簪，用玉紹繚之。
聞君有他心，拉雜摧燒之。
摧燒之，當風揚其灰。
從今以往，勿復相思，相思與君絕！
雞鳴狗吠，兄嫂當知之。
妃呼豨！秋風肅肅晨風揚，東方須臾高知之。
I like this poem.
Recently discovered the title/re-remembered it after I read a story and the author mentioned it in the 后记, and I suddenly realised I knew it.
The world is not a beautiful place, but it's the only one we will ever know of so... I suppose we just have to make the best of what we have. And perhaps what we can do.
Anyway! I rewatched 金枝玉孽 and I (still) think it's hilarious how 张可颐 and 陈豪 can play the 笛子 late at night and be heard from the other side of the palace and not wake anyone up. And by extension how they can scream for help/kill someone and yet not get noticed. Well.
Posted at 11:40 PM
你真人 其实陌生得可以记不起
不是善于等待，只是习惯罢了。
I don't even know what to say.
These past eight years... We
have been through a lot. And even though I wasn't there the whole time, I've been there at least half the way through. And I'm proud of it, even if no one knows this, no one knows me, no one knows what.
For the past eight years we've been waiting; the closest it's come to was in 2010.
But of course that was dashed because no one cared and even now there are others and we're all left behind waiting again. And then again this year we thought that there was going to be a chance but once again, no. Even though we know in our hearts how much better it would be.
Good things should come to those who wait.
But I suppose we must once again throw our hopes to the wind and wish they don't blow away and find it in our hearts to believe that this year will be that year, that better year, that special year.
And in the nature of 婠婠's immortal words, "我们不是没有同感，只是已经习惯了等待，反正8年我们都等了，而且小定的发展正在向好的方向发展，是金子总会发光的！"
Of course, we know most of us feel like 阿惊, that we've been waiting for too long. I suppose 零 and 莫 and I have just gotten used to it, since we've been the five year people. And of course our seniors (婠婠 and 灵儿 and sea and cindy and 桐桐) understand that and they've been waiting even longer than us and I think somewhere deep in our hearts we've learnt that what we want will come to us if we're patient, as in 小定's own words, "重新，從心" and of course 淡定，欣然.
And these people have been my friends for the past five years! Of course, I don't actually know the real them, and they don't actually know the real me, but that's alright because it's just the ridiculous nature of the internet.
The important thing is that we have a common interest, and that's what glues us together (even through language barriers and all that) and I love them so much they are awesome people.
Good things
do come to those who wait.
...I intend to pick up Muay Thai some day. (Some people would join me, I'm sure of it.) My... family friend refuses to teach me because she claims that teaching people who don't know is painful for her (it's like you tell them to aim somewhere and they can't control and they accidentally punch you in the gut). Then again I bet that's only because she did that to her instructor.
Posted at 1:04 PM
