Monday, January 14, 2013
My history
I love my history.
Call me a selfish person, but I do. I don't like plain history. Plain history is boring. I don't want or need to know about the history of the Americas, because I'm not from America, and I'm not interested in knowing about America.
But the one thing I'm interested in is my history. By "
my history" I refer to parts of the part that, although not necessarily directly related to me, are things I can relate to. Things I can connect to. Things I know. Things I want to know. Things that make me want to know more about them.
It's about knowing more about, well, what I know about. And in a way that makes me know more about myself. I like that. I like that feeling of knowledge, because knowledge is power, and knowing more about something makes me understand why I'm so attracted to it. And thus I am more in control.
I like knowledge and I like control. And I am attracted to people who possess, or want to possess both. By attract I don't mean in
that way, because, holy mother of chocolate, that is a truly horrifying thought. Attracted to simply means that I feel I can connect with them. It also means that I can share thoughts with them. This is possibly why I like talking to people who are, well, panicked wrecks. Who says a panicked wreck can't be a control freak? That's usually the reason why they're panicking, actually, because of the lack of control. It's like some downward spiral, and I totally understand the feeling.
Because when your hands start shaking and you can't seem to stop it, all you want is someone to join you in your misery, and because you
want to be miserable (and you
are miserable), you are in control.
N.B.: ...and no, I do
not base all the advice I give off those cheesy chinese romance stories I read.
Posted at 7:40 PM
